A Cop With A Heart & Common Sense

“…telling the story of  a cop with a heart and common sense is going to take awhile…so come back often.  Let’s begin.” -Lynn

There are more of us than you think.  It’s just that cops with hearts and brains don’t normally shout about it.  The only reason I can now, is that me and my badge are retired.

And, boy, am I going to talk.  After thirty years behind the badge, it’s about time to let it out.

There’s more to being a cop than being tough and pushing people around.  We’re supposed to protect and serve! 

A cop with a heart understands the book, and doesn’t break the rules, but bends them on occasion.  We’re all human, and just because we’re wearing a uniform doesn’t mean we have to be jerks.

On a dark rainy night, many years ago, one of my men stopped a car because the tag was out of date.  The driver was going home from her night shift.  She had 3 kids home alone, from 13 down to 2.  She told the officer she was getting paid in 2 days and would bring her receipt for the tag to him at the office.   She was nearly in tears, exhausted and on her last dime, just wanting to get home to sleep.  She’d been driving the dark streets, hoping to not be stopped as she drove with her expired tag.

He called in for a tow truck, and was going to arrest her being disrespectful to an officer.  I heard him on the radio and I broke in telling him to hold his position, I was on my way.

When I got there, he was pacing and the young woman was crying softly with her head buried in her hands.

I pulled the officer aside and asked him a question.  ”Doug (name changed to protect the guilty) do you remember me stopping you for driving like an ass when you were a teen?”

“Yessir,” said Doug, “You were good to me.”

I continued, “Remember the time you had the pot in the car?”

Doug gulped. “Yes.”

“Remember me calling your parents and keeping my eye on you for the next year telling you I was going to kick your ass if you did anything stupid again?”

“Yes. You gave me a break.  I was just 16 and that’s why I’m a cop today.”

“You grateful, Doug?”

“You know I am.”  Doug was hanging his head and looking over at the woman nervously.

“Then show it.  Pass the breaks on to those who deserve it.  What is it going to hurt you to follow her home so she gets there safely, and let her get her tag.  Show some courage.  Anyone can write a damn ticket.   You gonna  arrest her for cryin’ and raisin’ her voice?? Christ!  What are you gonna do when someone spits in your face? Shoot ‘em?  If you don’t want to babysit her kids all night, let her go home.”

Doug looked at me.  He was silent, then nodded.  ”I get ya, sir. I get ya.”

He motioned for the young woman to come over to the cop car.  Tearing up her ticket, he wrote her a warning, and said “You go on home, now.  Payday, you get that tag and bring the receipt in to me.  This is just a warning.  Have a nice night.”

I play-punched him on the shoulder, got back in my car…and continued the beat.  Doug was going to be a good cop when he learned that there was strength in letting some people have a break.

—I’m Lynn, the man who drove the beat, behind the badge, for thirty years.

12 Survival Tips for Cop Wives

Over the years, I absorbed a lot of knowledge from my husband the cop. If you’re really observant, some of it’s bound to rub off on you. Here’s a few things I learned, while being married to the MAN IN UNIFORM:

1. If you go to see a scarey movie with him, be prepared to hear: “That could never happen in real life.” every 5 minutes.

2. If he takes you to see “The Reincarnation of Peter Proud,” don’t share the popcorn box. He will switch it to the coke cup while you aren’t looking and right when Peter Proud goes over the boat into the water you will stick your hand in the coke cup and scream like a nut. He will laugh uproariously as nothing in the movie scares him and he’s looking for entertainment.

3. Don’t take square dance lessons with any expectation of having a visible do-se-do partner. The pager will go off unexpectantly and he will too. I do a mean do-se-do all by myself.

4. Be prepared to celebrate Christmas on any other day but December 25th. The Good Cop, Chief, will let his staff off and cover their shift. It’s ok, that big ol’ heart is why you married him, remember?

5. When he takes you to the local dance club owned by his would-be Elvis-like singer-lifelong-friend, realize that after the first 2 dances, he’ll end up being the bouncer, even if it is his day off. Bring a good book.

6. Don’t take it personally when you make a u-turn at the corner where you aren’t supposed to, he’ll have half a dozen calls about “why the cop’s wife can do that and no one else can” by the time you get back home.

7. If you sit down to dinner, expect the doorbell to ring by a distraught father, abused spouse, or sad teen. They just have one quick question.

8. When you go to the Sonic for a quick burger and conversation, expect to make at least 3 quick stops as he sees crime happening out of the corner of his eye while driving 40 miles down the street in the dark…”this will just take a minute, honey. Lock the door.”

9. Don’t let him clean his unloaded rifle while you’re back is turned as you fold clothes and he watches a football game. At a touchdown moment, the unloaded 22 rifle will shoot a hole in the roof causing him to win the TOP SHINGLE SHOOTER AWARD at the police Christmas Party. He will not be amused. I still don’t know who told. I swear.

10. Always check to make sure the car is in park when he stops the car suddenly, because once again, he sees crime happening out of the corner of his eye while you’re going down a perfectly bright country road at 50 miles an hour. The car in park, but not double checked, will roll downhill, as you sit calmly in the passenger seat. You will then lose your religion while you scramble into the driver’s seat. Daintiness goes out the window, literally. If you value your husband’s ego, you’ll fail to mention any of this when he gets back into the car. “How’d that go, dear?”

11. Never try to understand cop humor as he tells you of his evening, when he discovered a dead elderly woman and then when answering the Medical Examiner’s arrogantly asked question “Did you touch anything? What did you do when you found her?” and your cop’s reply was “I said, ‘Ma’m, you have the right to remain silent.’ and then I called you.” It’s just his way of coping with frequent death.

The next one is not funny – but very true. Read at your own discretion.

12. Never serve macaroni and cheese. It reminds him of a family who lost their son to an accidental shooting death. The 17 year old was shot in the head while eating macaroni and cheese. The wound was wide open. The cop will throw up.

Bonus #1: Never ever expect to get anywhere on time unless you leave 1 hour early. The phone will ring, pagers will go off, walkie talkies will sqwak, someone will need him. I’m a patient, creative woman, and can go to almost any function together, with my husband not at my side.

Bonus #2: When the cop says “It’s not dangerous, honey.” Take a long hot bath. When the cop says “I’ll be home for dinner.” put his plate in the microwave.

Midnight conversations were lively, though:

“How was your day, dear?” Softly, intimate tales were told of dark rendezvous in parks; secret investigations of the rich and locally famous; cops hiding in drug stores closets to catch a thief; bank presidents caught in midnight positions in the bank lobby, giving new meaning to drive-through banking; drugs found in unusual body cavities; not sexy, but drunken female flirting: while under arrest, they shout from a cell, completely naked, as in–NO CLOTHES ON– “Get your ass back in here, Mr. Po-leec-man!, and let’s negotiate.”

Insomnia is your companion, when one waits up for the tales from the badge.

——-

I first published this article on HubPages.com.